GENOMICON

The first one being that robots can now be trusted (pretty much) to operate on people without being supervised, although as far as I’m aware it’s only been tested on Turkey so far, not the country, the big chickenny things – which is ok because chickens are basically just walking plants aren’t they.

Which is apparently successful 93% of thhe time, which is good – but what about the other 7% where it accidentally slips and cuts your todger off eh? What about that? I suppose it could quickly sew it back on again and pretend nothing had happened… that’s what I would do. It would get away with it 73% of the time.

The other one is a sort of television that you can see from every angle.

Which as far as I can see is only useful for one thing, and that’s putting your own disembodied head into, forever. You could get thousands of them – line an entire room with them… you could sit in the middle on a simple wooden chair while the thousands of replicas of your own head told you how great you were for hours on end in somnambulant, monotonal voices.

It’s not a sex thing. It would be character-building.