The Future of Flying Cars

If there is one.


It’s something I can never get enough of. People complaining on and on until the end of time that we were promised flying cars, and there aren’t any.

Well there are. There are hundreds of them and they’ve been around since the 40s,


But they’ve never really taken off… and why is that I hear you ask? Who’s fault is it?

It’s yours. You.

And by “You”, I mean everyone in the entire human race, except me… because you’re constantly crashing the cars that only operate in two dimensions, you can’t possibly be trusted to operate the ones that operate in 3. It would be mayhem. Carnage.

And that’s why blimps are the answer – they’re basically like giant flying airbags, and so long as they’re not filled with hydrogen and the passenger bit is right in the middle, I think you’ll be fine.

The one in the photo at the top is solar – about to fly across the English (or French) Channel… I think I’d go one step further and make them like giant Zorbs – but filled with Helium – so you float, and your voice goes squeaky, and with a touch of nitrous oxide, so you think it’s incredibly funny that your voice has gone squeaky. You could just barge about the place talking in a squeaky voice and pissing yourself with laughter, crashing into things – only doing superficial damage to everything. It would be great.